Something Fishy This Way Comes
by Hakura
Summary: Haruka likes the pretty girls. Fish-eye oggles the handsome men. Haruka dresses as a man, while Fish-eye as a woman. What would occur during a meeting between these two?


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the mentioned Sailor Moon characters,   
nor do I really want them, considering...  
This is one of those spur-of-the-moment-that-you-really-wish-you-  
hadn't-thought-of-for-the-sake-of-everyone fics ^^ Enjoy.  
  
E-mail: shino_hakura@hotmail.com  
  
  
  
~~Something Fishy This Way Comes~~  
  
  
  
The sun was beating down overhead, and the ground radiated with   
a near-senseless heat. However, the woman seated on the park   
bench had still chosen to be fully clad in her male school   
uniform, from the heavy red-brown jacket, to the long plaid   
pants, and finally the deep brown, now-painfully-pinching shoes.   
Her reasoning was simple, really.  
  
And the answer came in the form of a flock of giggling girls.  
  
Haruka fumbled playfully with her tie, keeping her eyes on the   
small group. They peered around one another to gape at her,   
still giggling. She winked, resulting in the eruption of shrieks   
and running feet as the schoolgirls rushed away to hide their   
burning faces under something cooler than the sun.  
  
Simple indeed.  
  
But, with the uniform of a school's young man, and her blond   
hair shorn close to her skull, Haruka did play the part well.   
Too well, some would say, considering the amount of attention   
she received daily from oblivious female admirers. Too well,   
they say, when her deep voice and smooth words leave another   
innocent girl stuttering and stammering for breath.  
  
She waved a hand slightly to a passing jogger, admiring the   
muscles of her legs, and recalled the words spoken to her only   
a short while earlier.  
  
"Ara, I have to get going now, Haruka, the bank will be closing   
in an hour."  
  
And, with a wince, the words following those.  
  
"Be good while I'm gone now. You're bad enough as it is when   
I'm here, Lord only knows what you'll get up to in my absence."  
  
She shrugged.  
  
******  
  
Time has passed, girls have gone by, and the sun is now high   
in the sky, still raining down on our hero, seated not an   
inch from the spot she had been found in earlier and nodding   
off into sleep. In fact, passing flies have already begun to   
mistake her for yet another object to land upon, graciously   
using her coat sleeves as their own personal hygiene counters.  
  
This sorry sight is at last thankfully saved.  
  
Haruka cracked open her eyes at the sound of voices, several   
of which were undoubtedly female. Across the park, meeting   
her gaze, are a group of four. One is elderly in appearance,   
leaning over on a cane with a heavy bag sitting at her feet,   
salt and pepper hair slicked back into a bun. Beside her is   
a small girl, quite probably the woman's granddaughter,   
solemnly licking an ice-cream cone and losing most of it to   
her shirt and the ground. The other two are young men-   
apparently. The blond sniffs with distaste at their loudly   
colored outfits of bright purples and yellows, feathers and   
stripes alike. An odd assembling to be sure, but not odd   
enough to hold her attention. The eyes shut once more.  
  
However, just as Haruka's attention has wilted, the scene   
has changed. With a cry of outrage, the elderly woman has   
brought the man in purple to his knees with her loaded bag,   
repeating the action several times, while the man in yellow's   
stripes are stained with a cool coating of chocolate ice   
cream.   
  
The flies depart for their new, semi-sticky, targets.  
  
******  
  
"Ooooh, handsome!" a throaty voice screeched with delight.   
The nerve-wracking sound seems to be coming from a large   
tree but is, in fact, coming from behind the aforementioned   
tree. For crouching behind its truck, peeking out towards   
"the bench" was a rather odd character. She's dressed in   
what appears to be large strips of fully-inflated blue bubble   
wrap (though thankfully not as transparent), with three-  
sizes-too-small blue shoes hugging her feet, caked on makeup   
with bright red lipstick to top it off, and smoothly silky   
blue hair framing a pinched, almost-impish, face. But,   
truth be told, she is not a she at all but a he.  
  
And he, suitably named Fish-eye, now leans back against the   
tree with visions of a blond man dancing before his sparkling   
eyes.   
  
He let out a deep sigh, ringing with the sound of his longing.   
And, with a little leap, he dashed off into the bushes as   
quickly as he had come, clutching a small bubble-wrap-like   
purse to his chest.  
  
Thus hidden, Fish-eye's eager fingers dove deeply into the   
bag, removing a dress- yes, a low cut, slinky, blue dress -  
and a makeup case. He chuckled deviously, as only a mad   
protagonist is capable, "Such a stroke of luck to have brought   
my things with me today!" And, nodding to himself, "Hawks-eye   
and Tigers-eye must be idiots...chasing after women all the   
time. And in those hideous things they call clothes!" His   
one concern, however, laid in wondering where his two   
companions were. To be sure, they would stop at nothing to   
humiliate him in his quest.   
  
But there was no need to fear. Tigers-eye and Hawks-eye   
were at the very same moment being chased from the park by   
an angry ensemble of police, old women swinging purses and   
screeching like banshee, and little toddling girls, some   
with ice cream cones. Thus Fish-eye was left free to his   
fervent rustling in the bushes.  
  
******  
  
Haruka's near-slumber was again disturbed by what sounded   
like rustling in the shrubs behind her. She opened one   
eye only to find nothing, nothing before and- with minute   
strain in twisting in position -nothing behind. She   
shrugged and returned to her fantasies. She had already   
reached her favorite part, the swimsuit competition, and   
wished not to lose the image.  
  
Minutes later, the snapping of a twig again breaks her   
of the pleasant thoughts. She opened both eyes in   
annoyance, only to find a single slender girl standing   
far along at the edge of the path. The short, close-  
fitting dress, and the fact that she was staring directly   
back were interesting to be sure, but not interesting   
enough to make Haruka feel an urge to leave her women.   
She winked in the girl's direction and shut her eyes.  
  
This time there was the sound of loud, purposely-agitating,   
coughing, and the dream was again disturbed. Greatly ticked   
now, Haruka grunted and reopened her eyes to an image of the   
same girl, in the same position, only moved so that she   
stands mere feet from the blonde's bench. She still   
stares, with an eerie expression that sends a chill up   
Haruka's spine. Obviously this kitten has decided she   
doesn't wish to leave her in peace so, of course, Haruka   
shut her eyes again...this time tense for another move.  
  
And instead there was a sudden jolt, and a sharp pain from   
something striking her ankle. She jumped, startled, from   
her seat and looked down to see a large rock sitting   
inches away from the throbbing ankle of her foot. An   
innocent (so to speak) whistling came from the figure on   
the path.  
  
Feeling defeat at last, as well as the beginning of real   
fear, Haruka wisely decided at last to leave. She took   
a final glance back at the girl in the dress before   
hobbling along in the opposite direction, and towards   
the park's exit.  
  
The "girl" waited until she could no longer see her   
"handsome man" before giggling wildly and leaping   
into the bushes like an animal to dash off in the   
same direction.  
  
******  
  
Haruka felt a strong sense of relief wash over her   
as she turned a corner away from the park. She mentally   
kicked herself for being so uncharacteristically cowardly   
towards the strange girl. True, she had been odd. And   
even a tad violent, she mused, rubbing her now-bruising   
ankle.   
  
She sighed, walking slowly down the sunlit path leading   
away from the park entrance, taking care to keep a slight   
limp. For the ladies, of course.  
  
But, to her dismay, there were no girls, and indeed, no   
other people in sight, all having taken cover under some   
kind of shade for today. There was a faint shuffle of   
feet behind her. She paused, glancing back, and saw no   
one. Just sun-beaten pavement barely saved by the shade   
of one of the large trees that lined the sidewalk. Nothing.   
Silently she scolded herself for being so unusually jumpy   
for the sake of nothing. "Baka..." her lips uttered softly,   
her feet resuming their walk.  
  
Again she thought she heard the slightest of sounds   
directly behind, and turned again only to find again,   
nothing. Just another tree. Nevertheless, tiny hairs   
stood at attention on the back of her neck, and she   
unconsciously quickened her pace.  
  
Turning another corner, Haruka took vague note that   
the trees lining this street were fairly new, mere   
children when compared to the former. As said before,   
she had a very short attention span.  
  
All was quiet, forcing her to wonder about her own   
sanity. Or perhaps it was just the sun, which cackled   
wickedly in its unforgiving intensity. Although, in   
all honestly, neither were exactly signs of mental   
stability.  
  
Then there was the definite sound of a tiny foot   
striking pavement in an unnatural way, immediately   
followed by a long string of curses to make a sailor   
blush red, all spoken in a barely audible muttering.  
  
Haruka, almost afraid to turn around, at last did so,   
only to find herself praying she hadn't. Only a few   
long-legged steps behind her own feet, standing eerily   
still behind the skinny tree which gave hardly a covering,   
was the strange girl from the park. She stood with her   
eyes directly facing the tree's bark, and her hands   
straight at her sides, just barely covered by such a   
slender trunk.  
  
Haruka couldn't help but think of an ostrich, which   
buries its head in the sand because it believes if it   
can't see you, you can't see it. Then again, this   
was Haruka, and her mind did have its way of jumping   
from the subject at hand. Though who could blame her?  
  
All at once her feet found themselves, and carried her   
hurriedly down the rest of the block and around yet   
another corner (It's a wonder she doesn't get lost)   
where she took note of a small coffee shop and rushed   
inside.  
  
*****  
  
Fish-eye waited patiently behind the tree.  
  
And then not so patiently, tapping his foot and   
wondering what the hold-up could be. With such a   
carefully selected hiding place, so perfect a spot,   
surely the handsome man must have doubted his ears   
and continued on.  
  
Then he heard the distinct sound of running feet   
and, peeking out, saw the blonde's back as he ran   
down the street and around the corner. He shrugged,   
jumped from his position, and took up running after,   
only briefly finding it odd that the streets bore   
no names.  
  
*****  
  
"Safe at last..." Haruka breathed, falling into the   
overstuffed cushion of the booth's seat.  
  
She shifted her gaze upwards to smile and wink at   
the tiny waitress standing before her, pad and pen   
in hand. The girl flushed a brilliant shade of red.   
"Pardon?" She placed a hand on her skirted hip,   
fluttering her eyes with a flirtatious air. She   
stared as if in a daze at Haruka's face, though   
with none of the eerie quality the strange girl   
had had.  
  
The blonde grinned wider still. "Oh...nothing...   
You know, another girl blinded by love chasing me   
down." She leaned forward, placing both elbows on   
the table and her chin on the upturned palms. "So-"  
  
The girl snapped back to attention, tearing her gaze   
from Haruka's face, "Ara! Excuse me, I have to get   
back to my tables. I'll be back!" She fairly   
skipped away, glancing back every other step.   
  
Haruka, in turn, scratched her head. Sometimes   
being so very attractive wasn't such a good thing.   
It had really been hot out, and she'd worked up more   
than a little sweat under the sun. The silly kitten   
hadn't even had enough sense to take her order.   
  
She sighed.  
  
*****  
  
About twenty minutes later we again find our hero   
slumped down in her seat, languidly studying the   
scene- or more specifically the waitresses in their   
required short skirts -only now she has water to   
banish the heat and has loosened her tie to diminish   
the previously-unbearable itch forming underneath   
her stiff collar.  
  
She glanced across the dimly-lit room towards the   
sound of rustling paper, only to find someone   
leafing through a newspaper, the printed sheets   
covering their face and most of the table. Her eyes   
caught the headlines, which read in bold lettering:   
Sorority House Flooded, Volunteers Rush to Rescue.   
She smirked, leaning closer and squinting in hopes   
of making out the tiny black-and-white photo, "Sure   
they were happy to lend a hand, too." Of course,   
she realized, she too would jump at the chance.   
It was only natural.  
  
The sharp rustling of the paper swept away her   
thoughts in a rush, and made her take a momentary   
note of the reader. She couldn't be sure, but she   
thought, with a sharp gasp, she caught a flash of   
blue above the paper's edge. The cold returned,   
forming in a lump deep in her throat, which she   
struggled to swallow.  
  
And then her worst fears were confirmed.  
  
As she watched, the paper was slowly, dramatically   
even, lowered several inches, revealing two wide   
eyes staring directly into her own. They shone of   
blue desperation, what once may have been innocent   
attraction. Haruka was used to people, girls   
especially, watching her; but this was far, far   
more than simple watching.  
  
And then, like a blessing, the little waitress   
had returned to her side, striking her hand-on-hip   
pose, batting her lashes, and asking how she could   
be of service. Wise remarks aside for once, Haruka   
instead grabbed the girl's hand with her own   
clammy ones, pulling her close to her face. The   
girl flushed red again, eyes sparkling. She had   
been chosen!  
  
"Tell me...please. Tell me, do you see that girl   
over there?"  
  
The waitress pouted. "Another girl?"  
  
The blonde's eyes were fast approaching what could   
be called frantic, glancing to the waitress and   
then to the table. "There, with the newspaper.   
Just tell me if you see her."  
  
The girl sighed, leaning far over Haruka's head,   
much lower and closer than was necessary, to scan   
the room. She saw someone on the far side of the   
café gripping the sides of a paper with whitened   
knuckles and, after staring hard to see the caked   
make-up covering their face, confirmed it to be a   
girl. "The one in the tacky make-up? Yeah, I see   
her" She hoped 'he' would be pleased with her help,   
but pouted when 'he' only sighed sharply and sunk in   
defeat backwards into the seat.  
  
"Wait! That's the girl who's been following you,   
isn't it?" She turned a more critical eye on the   
competition, noting the plain blue dress and   
poorly-shaped pony-tail holding back washed-out   
blue hair. And of course there was the make-up   
to top it off. Not much competition at all.  
  
Haruka removed her eyes from the table across   
the room to stare at her for a moment.  
  
"Check please."   
  
*****  
  
The girl remained steadfast in her seat as Haruka   
hurried and near-stumbled to the door, leaving   
only a few sweat-covered yen and one puzzled   
waitress behind. At the door she looked back   
again, to find the girl still staring, and still   
in her seat. Perhaps she would get away this   
time, but somehow, she doubted that very much.  
  
Thankfully the little café was only a few un-named   
blocks away from her own and Michiru's house.   
She turned in that direction, taking care to   
throw glances behind her every so often, even   
taking pains to check behind every large tree   
and under every rock she passed. However, it   
seemed the girl had given up, for now.  
  
And at last the house was in front of her, bathed   
in the sun's rays, with her own yellow convertible   
parked in the driveway. Normally she gloated in   
having so much room for herself and Michiru   
(Hotaru and Setsuna having moved out some time ago   
at their request for more privacy to..."study"),   
but after the day's events she found it far too   
much room for one person to be alone in.  
  
*****  
  
Michiru seemed to not have returned from the bank   
yet, so she was indeed alone. But to her frustration   
she found she could do nothing but take up a   
position near a window facing the front yard, sharp   
eyes keeping out for even a hint of blue. The   
day proved to be quiet before her wandering feet,   
without signs of any person, let alone the certain   
one she hoped not to see.   
  
After much pacing, much worrying; many jumps, many   
starts; Haruka at last settled down on the living   
room couch, basking in the cool air that was air   
conditioning, and thanking the Gods above for such   
a wonderful thing as a television remote control.   
This being who it was, of course, much else was   
forgotten in the newly-assigned quest to find the   
latest Victoria's Secret fashion show. With a bit   
of racing on the side...during commercials, that is.  
  
The phone rang, ripping her back into reality with   
its sharpness.  
  
She grunted, fumbling for the receiver lying on the   
black side-table, just barely out of her reach.   
It, as luck would have it, wobbled and fell,   
where she finally managed to grasp it with much   
straining and swearing. However, she had not had to   
leave her seat on the couch, so by laziness standards   
it had indeed been a successful mission.  
  
"Moshimoshi?" Which came out sounding more like   
a string of garbled nonsense than words.  
  
A low growl of frustration emitted from deep   
within her throat when she waited and was failed   
to be given a response of any kind. She pulled the   
phone from her ear to hang it up, thinking she'd   
missed the call entirely, when a tiny sound made   
her stomach and heart flip-flop into each other's   
positions. Heavy breathing.  
  
Now, on any other day she would have thought very   
little of this, to be sure. In fact she may   
have even found it amusing. But after a too-close   
encounter with a blunt object, as well as a rock,   
and other assorted events, pools of sweaty fear   
began forming once more.   
  
"Moshi...moshi?" she asked slowly, carefully.  
  
The breathing continued, uninterrupted.   
Haruka tore the receiver from her ear when the   
strange caller began coughing, a deep, husky sound.   
Perhaps it was only her imagination, but it sounded   
far too familiar for comfort. There was a low   
moan that she realized, after a painfully long   
moment, was coming from her own mouth. She dropped   
the phone to the floor without bothering to hang up,   
running recklessly from the room.  
  
*****  
  
Fish-eye sighed with rapturous glee, squirming back   
against the side of the phone booth's wall. His ears   
and mind echoed the delicious sound of the handsome   
man's gorgeously deep voice, taking no real account   
of what had- rather hadn't -been said.  
  
"He's perfect!" he squealed, slapping both hands to   
his cheeks. They flushed pink as a schoolgirl's   
under the heavy make-up, and his hair had come   
partially undone during his mad dash from the café   
to his present location down the street from the   
handsome man's house. On tiptoe, he was able to   
just barely see into one of the front windows, and   
so had been watching, starry-eyed, while Haruka had   
moved from pane to pane like an unsettled feline.   
Thus, to passing onlookers, Fish-eye presented quite   
an unusual sight.   
  
Only to be made worse, it seemed, when he pulled   
out his bubble-wrap-like purse from somewhere in   
the depths of his short dress (Lord knows we're   
better off not knowing where exactly) and dug eager   
fingers in to retrieve various make-up compact cases.   
  
He giggled.  
  
*****  
  
With one of her few still-sane thoughts, Haruka had   
managed to think of grabbing her car keys from the   
kitchen counter before flying from the house, past   
the sunlit lawn and sturdy concrete path, wind   
following at her heels. She hoped, without really   
believing it, that she would find some kind of peace   
once in her own car and away from the area. Peace   
of mind, at the very least.  
  
The car started without incident, and shortly she   
was tearing along down the road. She found much   
of her worrying slipping away like the breeze which   
played through her hair. It felt nice to at last   
feel safe, to at last think nothing could touch or   
harm her.  
  
"Michiru should be on her way home by now," she said   
to the empty air around her after several quiet   
moments, shifting her eyes to the sidewalk beside   
the road. She sensed the vision of Michiru, her   
dear beautiful Michiru, could banish the demon for   
good. For that's what the girl must be, she had   
realized. There simply wasn't any other explanation.   
In fact, had she not been too cowardly to face it,   
she would have transformed into Uranus and destroyed   
it already. At least, that's what she told herself,   
now that there was no imminent danger of it happening.   
So she hoped.  
  
She scanned the people walking by for any signs of   
her sweet lover, all other thoughts aside (Not that   
that's any kind of surprise, by now), without luck.   
With a long sigh, she leaned back into the seat,   
deciding to instead take a drive to the ocean-side   
and return home later. Her eyes flicked up to the   
rear-view mirror to check the speed of a truck   
following a little close behind.  
  
And that was her mistake.  
  
Though later she would claim with a cocky air   
and toss to the head that it hadn't happened, and   
would never have happened, she screamed "like a   
girl," when her own eyes locked onto the icy blue   
ones of a figure seated in the back seat. She swerved   
sharply, nearly crashed into a parked car, and came   
to a jarring stop (miraculously unharmed) beside the   
sidewalk. In a single flowing movement she'd leapt   
up from her seat and jumped over the car door, not   
even bothering to open it, or remove her keys from   
the heated ignition.  
  
This time she took off down the street, feet   
slapping the pavement with heavy thuds, without   
looking back. She dared not look back, because   
her greatest fear was that she would indeed find   
that slim figure seated in the car, eyes locked on   
her own. As long as she didn't look, she could   
honestly tell herself there was no such person,   
rather, thing. And if she did look, perhaps if   
it hadn't been there already it would mysteriously   
materialize from thin air in front of her. There   
was no point in taking that chance.  
  
"Haruka!"  
  
The soft voice, and words, seemed to materialize   
themselves from thin air, startling the blonde   
further still from her mind, until she slowed and   
realized they came from a familiar being, standing   
off to her side, near-hidden under a cool shadow.   
It was Michiru, and could only have been Michiru,   
staring at her with a beyond curious, more incredulous,   
look on her face. She blinked, once, then again.  
  
Haruka's heartbeat slowly returned to its normal   
rhythm, while her feet turned of their own accord   
forward towards the pretty woman. "Michiru...I-"   
She shook her head. "God, you'll never believe   
what's happened to me today. I...I hardly believe   
it myself." She paused, realizing her voice was   
trembling, and gave a sheepish smile.  
  
"I think I would believe it. From the way you   
were tearing down this way, I thought you might   
have seen a ghost."  
  
Very much like a small-brained creature, Haruka   
often had room in her mind for only one or two topics.   
The strange girl in her car now pushed away the other,   
slightly dirty, image she had conjured up of Michiru   
modeling for the Victoria's Secret program she'd   
been watching earlier. Without a further word of   
explanation she grasped her companion's arm and half   
dragged, half led her back down the street to the   
still-warm car. She released a breath she hadn't   
realized she'd been holding when she was able to see   
that the backseat lay empty. She got close enough   
only to lean in and touch the seat, Michiru hopping   
like a rabbit to keep up, and shivered to find it warm.  
  
"Haruka, please, what is this all about?"  
  
*****  
  
"...and finally, when I was driving down this way,   
I glanced into the mirror to find her sitting behind-   
directly behind -me, staring. I...uh...decided not to   
stay there- I mean who knows what kind of lunatic she   
was -bumped into you, and now she seems to have vanished."   
She shrugged, looking back to the car, as if she wanted   
to be quite sure the last part still remained true.  
  
Her faithful listener sighed, rubbing her temples,   
"Haruka, tell me, what did I ask of you before   
leaving this morning?"  
  
"Ask? Ano-"   
  
Michiru, who hadn't seemed to really want or expect   
an answer, cut her off "I asked you to be good because   
I knew you would manage to get yourself into trouble   
somehow." She smirked, "I suppose this shows I was   
right."  
  
"But Michiru! I swear I didn't do anything this time!"   
her voice had taken on a whining pitch.  
  
The hand was raised to silence her. Haruka knew better   
than to continue speaking. "You bring this on yourself.   
If you would just settle down, and eliminate your need   
to make every pretty girl you see believe you're the   
man of their dreams, then perhaps- just perhaps -we   
wouldn't always be going through this." She had shut   
her eyes, opening them then and immediately taking   
pity on her blonde lover, whose expression had   
turned to that of one who is guilty and knows it. Her   
voice softened, "You don't have to prove anything to me,   
Haruka, I love you just the way you are...a beautiful   
woman."  
  
Haruka's grin returned, along with the dirty images.  
  
*****  
  
Just above the pair's heads, clinging desperately to   
the branch of the nearest tree was none other than the   
'strange girl' himself. He had been listening to the   
little couple, casting murderous glares at the one   
called 'Michiru' and soaking up every word uttered by   
her 'handsome man' with pure adoration. He had been   
studying 'his' face with care, and so had not been   
paying much attention to what was actually being said.   
He had, however, heard the last speech from his competitor.  
  
His jaw dropped, nearly landing on the branch itself.   
He swayed, almost fell, but quickly rebalanced himself   
with only the most minute noise. The couple glanced   
upwards, but thankfully didn't see him due to the thick   
foliage raining down on them. Their voices turned too   
soft to hear, but Fish-eye, in his state, hardly noticed   
or cared.  
  
He watched, as if in a daze, Michiru laugh, and pull   
Haruka's jacket off her hot shoulders, tossing it into   
the backseat of the car. And, with a quickly sinking   
and heavy heart, he stared at her now-partially-revealed   
chest, which was the final bit of evidence needed to   
confirm that she was, indeed, female. He felt himself   
go faint with the start of the engine, and at last   
everything went black.  
  
Some time later he managed to come to enough to open   
his eyes, only to find a small boy peering at his face,   
mouth filled with an enormous lollypop, coloring obvious   
from his hands and cheeks. Fish-eye blinked, starting   
to sit up. The boy's eyes widened with terror, his   
muscles tensed, his foot rose into the air-  
  
Everything went black again.  
  
*****  
  
Three figures sat hunched over a bar bathed in darkness.   
Soft music played in the background. One was dressed   
in large strips of blue bubble-wrap-like material,   
wrapping his head dramatically with a thick white bandage,   
another was in yellow and black striped tights, and   
the third in a purple and pink "frock" adorned with   
several feathers. Their shoulders were all heavily   
sloped, the outward effects of a difficult day.  
  
A low throaty growl came from the one in blue, breaking   
the silence. The other two turned to him, with only vague   
threads of interest. More likely, they were bored and   
accepting of any form of action to pass some time.  
  
Fish-eye growled again, nearly upsetting his drink,   
long straw included, "It's just not fair!" Hawks-eye   
and Tigers-eye exchanged glances, speaking their own   
unspoken language. It was useful for times such as   
this, which they both agreed came about far too often.  
  
When nothing further was said, and Fish-eye had taken   
up tapping the counter in impatience, Tigers-eye at   
last gave in, "Tell us what happened, Fish-eye." He   
rolled his eyes, "We're dying to hear it."  
  
Seeming not to have caught the obvious sarcasm, Fish-eye   
ceased tapping, brightened, and sat up on his stool.   
He gestured to the air wildly, "It all started this morning,   
in the park. I was wandering around in the bushes, when   
I saw the most gorgeous man sitting alone on a bench,"   
he paused, thinking back to the sweet scene. Then   
nodded to the others, "So, naturally, I followed him   
around town in my nicest dress and best make-up, knowing   
that he'd take interest in me sooner or later."  
  
Hawks-eye sighed, rolling his eyes in turn.  
  
Fish-eye continued, undaunted, "Then, just as I'd managed   
to get myself into his car, alone," he winked awkwardly,   
"I get sidetracked when his haughty girlfriend shows up."   
He paused for emphasis. "So there I am, hiding in a tree-"  
  
His companions exchanged glances again.  
  
"-when suddenly that man-stealer is saying my man shouldn't   
go around attracting innocent girls, like me of course,   
and then removes his jacket and- God -it was a woman!"  
  
He stopped, obviously expected immediate feedback but,   
receiving none, pressed on, "He looked like a handsome   
man, alright, but his chest showed he was merely a youthful,   
well-acting, girl!"   
  
At the mentioning of a younger woman, Hawks-eye found   
himself quickly losing the little bit of attention he'd   
given. He shrugged, ran a hand through his hair, and   
opted instead to head out early on his date. After all,   
the nursing home was a whole two blocks away. And, as   
usual, she'd probably want to get back before it "gets late"   
around 6pm, and she missed her weekly round of Bingo. The   
last time that had happened he'd had to endure a reunion,   
two granddaughter birthday parties, and a trip out shopping   
for her "elderly needs" as punishment. Disappointing to   
say the least, but it was the price paid to date an older   
woman.  
  
Tigers-eye threw a glance at the retreating form,   
curling his lip in revulsion, feeling only disgust.   
He flipped the page of his magazine and drooled slightly   
over the picture of this year's Little Miss Preteen   
modeling finalist. He marveled over how developed she   
was for being only eleven. She could have passed for   
thirteen, easy.  
  
Busily blowing furiously popping bubbles in his drink,   
Fish-eye slumped lower still into his seat. He paused   
to glare in his now lone companion's direction, who, in   
turn, released a yawn. He continued, determined he should   
have sympathy today of some kind, "It just isn't fair,   
Tigers-eye. Here I've spent all day trying to seduce what   
I thought was a handsome man, and he turns out to be   
nothing more than a little girl." He pouted hard, jutting   
out his lower lip for emphasis.  
  
Tigers-eye immediately brightened, tearing his gaze   
away from the magazine, expressing far more interest   
than he had all day. He licked his lips, repeating the   
words, "Little girl?"  
  
Only a half-hearted shrug in response. "Not so little,   
I guess. She may have been well into her 20's for all   
I know," he sniffed with a trying air of dignity, "Or   
care to know." The bubble blowing resumed with increased   
fury.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Oh..."  
  
Further silence.  
  
"So is she cute?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
There you have it, my dear lady/gentleman ^^ I'm sorry   
if anyone found any piece of it offensive, but it is all   
really in fun. Heck, dear Haruka's my favorite character   
^_~ 


End file.
